Watching Luke and Lee Fall In Love

By Abby Gold

Hey, wait a minute - that's a woman's name!  I can see all you gay and bi guys thinking, what  does a woman think she's doing writing about male love?  Skip over this one!  Chuck it in the  bin, quick!    But wait, please give me a chance!    Just because I've got a pussy doesn't mean that I can't understand and appreciate the same  things you do.  That my life doesn't revolve around watching men play.  That I can't be  obsessed and inspired by men together!    I associate with so much of it, you see.  I have the cruising mentality.  I'm predatory.  I'm a  woman in a man's world.  I know all about impersonal groping in the bushes, and sucking  strangers' cocks in porn cinemas.    I'm on your side.    And I want to tell someone about Luke and Lee.    Lee was my fucking partner and shared all my secrets.  Whereas I was your classic female  slut, he was my male equivalent.    We'd go round the saunas together and make ourselves available.  I'd fuck the straight ones,  he'd fuck the gay ones, and we'd share those in between.    "Who do you want?" we'd delight in asking anyone who was interested in us both.  And  we'd tease each other about numbers.    "Only four today?  Tough shit - I've had seven."    Lee fucked so easy.  Got fucked, that is.  He'd just swivel round in one simple movement to  present his arse, and have anything sink into it without flinching.  His availability was more  exciting to me than my own.    The sauna sluts, we'd call ourselves, discussing the day's events in the pub afterwards.  Or -  as we were both pretty sub and not averse to a bit of mistreatment - the sauna slaves.    Luke was different.  I was more hooked on him.    Fantastic looks, lovely cock, but unreachable.  He'd ring me - I'd never ring him.  He had a  girlfriend, who didn't know what he got up to and wouldn't have approved.    "I just get this urge to suck cock every few days," he would say.  I know the feeling!    I introduced them, of course.  What a cliche!    The first time was tense and didn't work too well, but afterwards I got favourable reports  from each of them.  Luke started to come with us to the sauna, and those days were heaven to  me.  I'd drive us there, while they sucked each other in the back of the car.  In broad daylight!    "Keep your eyes on the road!" I would get told as I tried to glance back.  But we were all  equally excited.  It felt like living.  The first time I saw them fuck I was in raptures.  In was in  one of the little rest rooms at the sauna, after we'd been there a while and brought off quite a  few between us.    Suddenly it was just the three of us, and while Lee was fucking me, I spotted that intensity  in Luke's eyes, and knew it was going to happen.  I watched him work his rock hard prick  and wordlessly pull on a condom and deposit a blob of jelly on the end of his knob.  Lee  glanced back, then grinned at me, and a moment later I had my arms and legs wrapped round  both of them.    But I had to see it - I had to see my two lovers fuck - so I crawled out from under them and  stood at the side, watching a lovely long thick cock bury itself repeatedly up a loose,  accommodating arsehole.  I pushed their glorious little bums closer together, and got mad  with excitement when they both sucked on my tits.    Maybe I'm weird, but watching men fuck is special to me.  It's not that it arouses me  directly, it just speaks to me on some deep emotional level.  I love the sighs and  exclamations.  Lee with his mouth open, gasping like he's suffering from it.  Luke throwing  his head back as he pounds away hard, and finally telling us, "Now!  I'm gonna come!"    And all the time I'm holding them both close to me.  Privileged to share an intimate  moment.    It happened again at my place, two or three times.  Lee lying on my bed with his face buried  in the pillows, and Luke lying on top, deep inside, with one hand straying between Lee's cock  and bits of me.  I can't think of anything that's possible in a bi threesome that we haven't  done.  In other words, I knew them both quite well!    Months passed, and we all went on doing our own thing.  Lee had a bad experience with a  guy who whipped him too hard, but soon bounced back.    Luke broke up with his girlfriend ("I was living a lie") and took me on a tour of public  toilets in the suburbs, since when I've never looked at the world in quite the same way.    I carried on surrounding myself with men at every opportunity and only occasionally  wondering what the hell I was doing.    Then Lee rings me up at work and announces that he's seen Luke on his own.    "Don't make me jealous!" I say, although I'm genuinely interested and pleased.  “How did it  go?"    "Nice," he says.  "He's gorgeous, isn't he?"    I have to agree.    Next time he's even more excited.    "Guess what?"    "What?"    "I fucked him!"    "No!"    This is significant, because Luke was only getting to that point slowly.  I keep up the  enthusiasm, but can't stop myself crying when I've put the phone down.    Luke keeps calling me every week or so with nothing much to say.  I can never work out  what he really wants or gets from me, but whatever it is, he's welcome to it.  He says he's  seen one or two new guys recently, and mentions Lee as an afterthought.  I restrain myself  from asking for details.    Then we're all at the sauna again and, knowing they meet regularly now, I'm scared I'll feel  like the outsider, but it's more brilliant than ever, and they both fuck me so nicely.    But afterwards, when we're all sitting on a bench, looking at the sea, Luke gets stroppy.    "You don't care who we are as people," he says, as I snuggle between them, milking the  moment.  "You just want to be with two men."    Ouch!  This is both true and not true, but certainly too complicated to explain.    The criticism is so out of character that even Lee is staring at him wide-eyed.    It's a long time before I can decide what to say.  Eventually, I look him in the eye, and try to  keep the irony out of my voice.     "Would you rather I told you I love you?"    I do love him, you see.  I love them all, but that's another story.    Then to my astonishment, tough, cool, calm, quiet Luke is crying.  Weeping, with his head  in his hands!    And it isn't over me.    I know what's happening, even if they don't yet.  I've been watching them so closely, and  besides, I've seen it before.    Lee moves round to the other side of him, symbolically ousting me from my position in  between them.  Oblivious to the people strolling by, he puts an arm around Luke's shoulders.    "It's okay, you know," he says, very quietly.  "It happens.  Don't be scared."    We all understand.  We all live in a world of impersonal encounters, where emotions are not  allowed, where expressions of affection have to be quickly retracted or explained away,  because this is supposed to be about sex, remember?  Adult fun, nothing heavy, no strings.  There's no place for love in this cold, predatory, selfish sexual underworld - but it pushes its  way in, all the same.    A particular look passes between them on that seafront that tells me a great deal.  I hurry us  back to the car, and keep a firm hold on my emotions during the endless hour before I can at  last leave them to themselves.     They're being so nice to me nowdays, but I know that, for me, it's over.    Cruel paradox, that the very perfection of what they have found, and in which I rejoice so  much, means that I have lost them both.